Desire vs Fight – 5 Tips to Rebuilding Relationships.
Are you fighting for your husband, love, marriage, kids, job, life, health?
Just for a moment, pause and reflect – what does fight mean to you?
For me it means heartache, conflict, pain, suffering, avoidance, struggle, effort, exhaustion, sleepless nights, and I could go on and on. I used to fight, and still catch myself now using the word – even today I realised I had suggested to someone they fight for their marriage, kids, dreams. DUH!
So the alternative is to desire. That sounds much more pleasant, effortless, and almost dreamy.
Drop the fight and feed the desire! Because what you focus on, put your energy into and feed grows! Which means you get more of it!
So how do you put that into practical terms to take action and bring to you what you are most wanting?
1. Remember the past cannot be changed – and you want better for the future, so focus on the future!
Each and every time you find yourself speaking of, reflecting on or feeling the hurts of the past, STOP, remind yourself that this is NOT helpful and switch your thoughts to a future you dream of.
Thinking about the past will just bring more of what you have had and want to run from! So…..
2. Get clear about what it is that you REALLY want. And spend some time (5 mins twice a day) each day in contemplation of these things.
How would that look?
How would that sound, taste or smell?
What would be happening?
Who else would be there?
What would you be doing?
What would they be doing?
How would that feel?
Above all else how would YOU feel to have that already?
3. Be someone that the other WANTS to be with, to come home to, to spend their life with. Spend some time (5 mins twice a day) each day in contemplation of this person.
Who was the person your partner chose?
How did you speak, what did you do?
Did you have fun?
Were you sure of yourself?
Were you happy and confident?
What were some of the little things you used to do to show your love?
Did you forgive and forget easily?
4. Remember the person YOU chose. Focus some time (5 mins twice a day) each day in contemplation of this person.
Who was the person YOU chose?
How did they speak, what did they do?
Did they have fun?
Were they sure of themselves?
Were they happy and confident?
What were some of the little things they used to do to show you love?
Did they forgive and forget easily?
5. Be happy – happy people are pleasant to be around – this can be and is a challenge; HOWEVER happiness can only be found inside, it is not dependent on another person. Society has messed with us and tried to make us believe that we need another to make us happy, we need another to behave in a certain way, have certain things, do certain things, look a certain way for us to be happy.
When we are happy with ourselves our whole life changes – we are more content, have greater compassion, tolerance, acceptance and trust.
You are the only one that can be happy – create happiness in you – so surrender to your inborn ability to do this as magnificently as you can and follow your desires.